Isn’t it the perfect time to talk about resolution? It's the beginning of a new year and we are all ready to make changes, get fit, go on a diet, etc.… But what happens when we run out of steam and we fall short on our resolutions? We begin to feel as though we aren't good enough, like our word carries no weight. How could it? We were so pumped to go to the gym everyday or lose those extra 10-20-100lbs… so what happened? Why do we fail year after year?
It happens. New Year resolutions are aims for perfection, and since perfection, in the way most of us view it, is unattainable, we fall short each and every time. Let's go with the example of losing weight and going to the gym. At the start of the year we resolve to eat better and exercise more. Then one day anxiety hits, or maybe it's depression, and we find ourselves looking at the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Then we exercise extra hard to burn that off. But, then we miss a day at the gym and get down on ourselves, once again, all because now our perfect gym week is “ruined.” Soon after another day is missed, then another. We continue in this up and down pattern of binge, berate, and overcompensate until we just give up and throw in the towel. It's exhausting! Sure, there may be sporadic busts, where we maintain an exercise regiment or follow a diet, but does it ever really last? It doesn't. We yo-yo diet and exercise for the entire year and towards the end, around the holidays, we stuff our faces under the self-deceptive guise that next year we will REALLY buckle down and get healthy.
And the cycle begins again.
HAVING RESOLUTION, NOT MAKING RESOLUTIONS
It’s time to step off the hamster wheel. Instead of resolving to be one way or another, why not resolve to be more compassionate with ourselves and accept our “Selves” exactly as we are? What a concept huh?
“Accept myself the way I am?! But, I'm so flawed. “I'm not skinny, and I need more… (money, time, love, satisfaction).”
The list is inexhaustible. The more we try to change certain aspects of ourselves, the more we negate those characteristics in us that so desperately just want love and acceptance. I'm not saying that wanting to better ourselves is a bad thing or that we should become complacent. There is a difference between evolving with love and compassion, and working to change something about ourselves through negative intrapersonal communications. If this concept is new to you, allow me to explain…
Intrapersonal communication is the way in which we speak to ourselves, our inner self-talk. How you communicate with, and treat, yourself sets the bar for how you allow others to treat you. Growing up, we are not taught how to be nice to ourselves. We are told that we need to be kind to others, but little attention is given towards self-love.
We are not perfect; NOBODY achieves perfection. So, if we find that we're staring back into the bottom of another carton of Ben and Jerry’s, don't get down. Love yourself, because, after all, that IS what you were looking for in that carton of ice cream. The problem is: the bliss we feel is a fleeting as the ice cream itself. External factors come and go, but when happiness comes from within, it proves more substantial and stable. Instead of trying to constrain ourselves into a tiny box of what we imagine others think we ought to be, let go of these preconceived concepts and step into the magnificence of who we truly ARE. We are all perfect in our "imperfections," and we all evolve at different rates. If we deviate from the path, it's ok. Just bring it back and realize that there are no missteps in life. Everything we go through has a purpose and a lesson.
To accept and love your “Self” as you are is to embody the light that is in all beings. This is what it means to Be Visible Light.